The big one.
Here we have two people. Over the last two years, little by little, there have been many thoughts but few words between them. From time to time they have a good conversation, in one way or another it seems like catching up as old friends. Both have things they haven't mentioned, things that eventually need to be said. Roughly two years to-the-day later, one half of this equation was thinking about it too much and mentioned to the other how long it had been. The other half, suddenly aware of this, also expressed their concerns. Despite all this time passed, they discovered a little common ground almost right away. The half that had originally brought it up never meant for it to be the long, revealing conversation that it became. Never meant for both to be asking questions as if that day two years ago had just happened.
"..lovers they have come before, and they will come again. No one's ever loved before, the way that I loved then.." -Marc Roberge, Irish Rose
I honestly cannot believe this went down the way it did. I never intended for it to get as in depth as it did. When she asks "why didn't you tell me this before? I've spent so much time trying to move on and getting close to him." In my eyes, that translates to: 'would absolutely love to see you again, I almost need to, but I'm comfortably happy enough to say that, eh, I'm just gonna stick with this.' So, why didn't you ever speak up? When today, two years later, you tell me "we were one of a kind that's for sure," and "no one could ever be like us," among other very obvious statements. You say it's because you had to move on. Ha. I think it is clear that you believe you belong elsewhere than what you're with now.
Can I say what the future, near or far, has planned for anyone? No. And neither can she or anyone else. But when someone who's been in a relationship with the same boy since leaving me has repeatedly told me that I'm the one that most relates to them, most understands them, I confidently say that it shouldn't surprise either person when they run into each other again someday. There is something unbelievably poetic about what happened today. Unbelievably poetic and uniquely tragic just the same.The fact that she still had to ask me questions about my friends (that were girls! Gasp!) from back then, and still hasn't accepted that they were never anything more than decent friends, did surprise me. If the realization that you broke off the best thing for you over some insecurities bothers you, well it should. A little. That's how life works. You adjust accordingly. Hopefully she has it straight now.
This conversation was guaranteed to happen at some point. Both halves of the equation needed it. Although it appears nothing was really resolved, just informing one another. Two theories from this: 1) Nothing was resolved because neither half wants to close the other off, or 2) Nothing was resolved because it hurts one of them too much to do it because calling it off was a mistake in the first place.
