Too outspoken?

There are many times throughout each week where I think to myself that I might be too outspoken; that I speak my mind a little too honestly and too often.

But then there are some nights where I speak out about something that's really affecting me inside, and I feel like it's somewhat justified.

I wish I could communicate things better. I wish I knew why people react the way they do, why they shy away like they do. Especially when someone thinks the world of you. I don't understand the need to be hesitant in certain situations. Maybe I'm over-reacting. Although it seems that the same story plays again and again. Back and forth and back and forth with re-assuring small-talk until everyone is comfortable enough to continue with what is trying to be accomplished. I don't get the need to be re-assured. It's not an awkward thing.

It just makes me wonder what else would be too "awkward" that someone couldn't go through with something. Like, moving to a new city. Or state.

We're all adults now. It's okay to accept that in our minds and live a little, okay to change things up a bit from time to time.

I had a few years to myself to get extremely comfortable with my lifestyle, and to meet othe lers who lived their lives the same way. I'm finding that it's hard for me to patient with those who are hesitant and less out-going.

Christmas Shopping: The Final Chapter

Well over $300 later, my Christmas shopping is finally done. I realize that is a small sum compared to most, but it's really more than I should have spent considering everything that's going on right now. That's alright though.

I hope.

Definitely looking forward to seeing family for an extended period of time instead of just a few hours, and seriously ready for some time off. Today was.. 37 days in a row that I've worked? Yeah. It is feeling a little ridiculous at this point. Three days off is going to feel like three weeks off, but ultimately will fly by like three hours.

At any rate, It will be great to just relax.

So ready to say goodbye

I can't think of a time since I moved to Columbus that I've been more bummed about not living on the coast. It's like the city, Crew, Rachael, soccer, and friends occupied my mind these two years. I always have someone to talk to or somewhere I can go except on the nights and in the moments where I need someone most, such as now.

I'm someone who has always been dreaming ahead about where I'm going. It's funny. While in college I had said that the plan would be to find a good job in Columbus and work here 2-3 years and then move on. Here I am nearing that two year point and I'm thinking about it more than ever.

While most people my age are saying to themselves 'wow. I'm in my mid-twenties. I better find some love and have some kids because that's all that is left to do,' I am busy looking at apartments in SC and USVI, job openings, and partying myself to a blackout every weekend. I am sick of being here and fed up with waiting. Realistically, it will be ateast one or two years before I can make the move. With that in mind, it wouldn't hurt to try to find a supervisor or management position somewhere here in Columbus.

Unfortunately until this Kansas City mess is cleared up, I can't even begin to plan anything out.

Would things be fine if I just stayed in Ohio forever? Yeah. Everything points to me living a pretty fun, normal life with friends and family if I would settle here. But that is not me. I've become so committed to my dreams that staying in Ohio would be an eternal failure in my subconscious, and I don't think I would ever be truly happy. However, I am accepting of the current factors in my life and how complicating they have become.

With that being said, I would leave tonight without any second thoughts. If I could.