This past weekend in Put-In-Bay put a lot of things into perspective for me. There are so many important aspects in my life, and so many not-so-important things. For the past two years I really haven't attempted to distinguish between the two, or separate them for a more prioritized approach to my life.
Certain situations lead to certain reactions, and more often than not the reactions over the last 24 months haven't really been that of who I believe myself to be. I look to moving to the city, living conditions, and alcohol as the "fools" behind how I've handled things.
A city where I've made so many friends, walked so many friendly paths, and have grown as a person, but have become rather cold as a person from so many negative experiences with people that I don't even know. Living conditions that have seen great, life-long friendships go stale and dormant. Crazy amounts of time and money spent on beverages that ultimately do nothing for me but further fuel the side of me that's being outed in this post. I have identified these as pivotal factors but there are more, no doubt.
Years ago, when learning who I was, I was on a ride of oceanfront dreams laced with steel drum music, Marley and Buffett songs, and plans to move to coastal state (literally and figuratively). During that age, this path was etched in my mind as the most important thing in life with the destination being a promise land of sorts. I would be in class during the day and work my nights away at Arby's while always believing that I was progressing towards the beach. Progressing towards a dream. Now I sit here thinking is this really where I was headed all along? Or was it all just a blurred vision that was never going to become a reality? Because on that subject, reality, I am actually currently right where I expected to be.
Finish college.. check. Move to Columbus.. check. Score a management position with a well-respected hotel brand and management company.. check. Next on my list? Use my experience from Columbus and move to the coast of South Carolina. I'm supposedly right on track.
Life changes. I have been in Columbus for over two years now, and am caught up in what my next step should be. Where as before, I was on a smooth ride in the direction of South or North Carolina. Now it seems that I-270 serves as a turn table for the vinyl record that is my life, and the vinyl keeps repeating the same week over and over again. Work, drink, Crew -- work, drink, Crew -- work, drink, Crew. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong at all with this routine but I feel that over the past two years that the determination and drive to reach the beach has all but deteriorated to nothing because of this cycle.
Life is flying by and I feel like I'm not even holding the wheel. That I'm letting all of these things that I've found so much joy in to just take over and tell me what to do. Life is too short to let your record skip for a couple of years. It might be time to pick mine up, blow off the dust, get a good wipe down and see if the music starts playing again. But am I ready to listen? I love the music that has been my life and there's still a lot of music to play. A lot of albums to spin.
Now, where's that needle.
