Jack and Rain, Crew destroy Houston

New comment up in the comment section of the "Lucky" post. Actually, it's more like a post in itself, maybe I should give it it's own? Hmm. Anyway, I'm liking the feedback and show of opinion, keep the discussions coming!

Jack Johnson's show was simple yet amazing. Him and his guys are so talented, I highly recommend. Beautiful weather until everyone left for their cars. I was soaked by the time I found the Escape.

On Saturday I went and watched Houston flop around in a 3-0 loss at the hands of your Columbus Crew. Columbus now takes an 8-point 1st-place lead over 2nd-place New York in the Eastern Conference.

O.A.R.

One of the top 3 concerts I've ever seen, actually might be the best! Can't wait for liveoar.com to post the show. They came on at 9pm and went till, 11:20 maybe? Just wouldn't stop letting us sing Road Outside Columbus back to them, I'll never stop seeing this band.

Next up, Jack Johnson in Noblesville, IN tomorrow.

Lucky

As mentioned two (or three?) posts ago, I had a long session on the bike (11 miles?) a few Sunday nights ago. That night at the gym, specifically on the bike, I thought about a lot.

Over the course of each of our lives, we all obviously hit the typical obstacles. Some of us hit some of the more personal ones, the rarer ones. Now it's well-known that people either deal with it or they don't. I've certainly been on the don't side, but how low on that side? In reality, I haven't had it physically as low as others, but mentally I've been right there. Most people hardly ever have it that bad, we here in the states hardly ever know real problems. However, my own dark times lead me to be isolated among those with problems I couldn't imagine. Problems that make issues like depression, anxiety or attention-deficit look like nothing. Medications can be prescribed and appointments made as you go on from one doctor to another. Your behaviors and the reactions to those around you are changed. However those feelings of darkness, loneliness, emptyness, or whatever you want to call it, are not.

So how does one go from not dealing with it, to overcoming it? Medications can make you feel like a different person, or can make you not feel at all. If you're on a specific medication and you're feeling all great and positive directly because of the medicine, are you better off? No.

Is it realistic to feel that you like yourself better while on the medication? Has all that weight been lifted off your shoulders? No, and no. It is not realistic, and the weight has simply been shifted. When your body adapts to the dosage and that med doesn't free you of those demons any longer, what do you do? You up the dosage, or you move to a higher prescription. Is this healthy? No. Does it ultimately solve your issues? No. Anyone who claims a substance is their release is completely out of touch with reality. Completely. Those of us who've been there know it's hard, but it's absolutely true. The balance of happiness and sadness in one's life can be a tricky thing. But prescribed or not, meds and substances do not offer true escape. They only numb us, only increase our ability to be passively content with the failures in our lives.

I'm lucky enough to have been surrounded most of my life by people who helped bring me out of a darker period. People can voice the potential they see in you or they can make excuses for you. Fortunately I learned the difference. Sweeping our problems under the rug for some temporary-fantasy escape of reality is nothing but a detriment to ourselves and a flat-out insult to those who see the best in us. It wasn't anything that I put into my body to make me discover the love for me. If anything it was getting off of meds that made me see the foolishness and selfishness in believing that a drug can change your core for the better. One too many fall for the illusion and let the excuses (lies) become the truth in their eyes.

So, so fortunate. The family, the friends I've had, the loves I've shared, the strangers I've met among travels. I've seen the good, bad, ugly, and outright disgusting. But the positive support, the positive reflection you can be shown of yourself through these familar and unfamilar faces will do more for you than any med or drug will. I love that I love the me that I am of every second during every day without the help of anything. If you live your life dependent on anything other than yourself, and positive friends and family, then you're quite honestly and quite sadly, lost.

VFC Monday Night league: Season update

Okay. So last night we were off'ed 3-1, or 4-1. So until further notice, we are assuming every game will be a loss for the rest of the season, that way there are no more disappointments or surprises!

A weekend of music, fireworks, pain, and gain

Thursday, 7/1- Karaoke at Mickey's in Grandview. Great time with Cody, Eug and Melissa. Featuring all your favorite classics from Van Halen, Beach Boys, Hinder, the Beatles, Sublime, and Josh Turner lol. Plus many more but there was a lot of singing that night, and I'm not quick to remember them.

Friday, 7/2- My first chest/triceps workout in like two weeks. Was definitely feeling it and were thinking hot tub that day, but more important things loomed. We got some chairs, a table, cooler, ice, and some beer all packed into the back of the Escape to take over to Tarah's rooftop party for the fireworks. Pretty sweet view. Rooftop beer pong. Karaoke guy from Thursday lives there, funny. The events following that are wiped clear from my memory, including the alleged three mile walk from Grandview back to the Short North.

Saturday, 7/3- Some of my fam came down to visit. Accompanied them while they did some shopping, drove around and saw some sights, then had dinner at the Gahanna Grill. They left, and I sat on top of my car and watched the OSU fireworks going off across the street.

Sunday, 7/4- Sunday night was a little random. Biked 11 miles with Eugene. I had a lot of thoughts during this time on the bike, those to come later today or maybe tomorrow. For now I'll just say that I'm glad that I am surrounded by and choose to be surrounded by positive people in my life.

A pretty decent Wednesday, not gonna lie

With financial crisis lurking in the near future, I've been considering what would be the best second job. So far I'm thinking:

A) Cab driver
B) Turkey Hill cashier
C) Pizza delivery
D) Server
E) Retail

Now, D and E are really the only serious options.. but what the hell, why not joke about it a little, right?

Soccer tonight
I got a call from my friend to come and play with all of his friends. Meaning I played with about 30 Mexicans, and it was a great time. You know how, if you go downtown and play basketball in a "street" game, how you're probably going to get roughed up a little? That is how this was. No fouls, no corners or throw-ins. Just kick back in and go hard. Netted my first goal of the summer right before we ended too, which happened after I faked out one of the more physical guys and hit a solid shot just inside near post about waist-high. Golden. Was something I had to do if I was going to get any props out there as the only non-Mexican. Looking forward to playing more Wednesdays!

An old friend visited me last night

I was driving down to North Carolina for some reason, when an old friend called me.

Hello?
"Hey! Where you at?! We're at your grandma's!"
Ohhhh. Haha my bad, I'll be there in a second.

I arrive at my grandma's old apartment in Findlay, obviously she's not there because she moved to Bluffton, and oddly all of her belongings are still there. Bookshelves, dishes, furniture, the bedrooms- all the same. She introduces her boyfriend and next we all meet up with my friends to go out downtown here in Columbus. Afterwards the girls all stay in to watch a movie, and us guys take a walk through campus. The next morning I accidently walk in on my friend as she's getting dressed, but I didn't mind as neither she or her boyfriend seemed to notice.

After an afternoon at the pool, they prepared to leave. I thanked each of them for coming, her and I hugged and said we needed to meet up again. I shook his hand and said it was great to meet him, but he leaned in and whispered, "don't pretend to be nice." Staring at me as he turned, he got in the car.

Not having heard him due to the low volume of his voice, she asked with a look of confusion, "what was that all about?" His only answer was the pressing down on the accelerator.

Top down, wind blowing, they drove off. My friend glanced back to me, already worlds apart.

Car Troubles: Episode II

We're back with the second edition of Car Troubles. Last week I had the power streering all fixed up (Episode I). This week I had the brakes taken care of on the front, and new link pins put in. I think the upgrades are just about complete. This could be the final edition of Car Troubles for awhile, keep your fingers crossed.

USA wins! Video of Donovan's 91st minute goal and the sequence that led up to it

I've seriously watched this like 300 times now. Unreal! Next match is against Ghana, Saturday at 2pm on ESPN. USA!!

VFC Monday night league: 0-3 loss

Once again: loss for words. Easily the weakest team we have seen yet. Offense totally sucks. All of our 11 goals have been crappy, scrappy efforts. One of them was beautiful, in our second 4-4 tie, but that's it. I had a goal-mouth save just seconds before being drilled by Blanco Jr in the thigh. It's Thursday now and I'm still limping around. Standby on sitting this week out. Record now drops to 0-3-2.

When it rains, it pours: A chain-reaction kinda day, and my 100th post

I thought my 100th post would be a little more celebratory! But it's here nonetheless, let's get down to business.

Excluding the critically acclaimed Car Troubles series that I am periodically writing at the moment, lets take a clearer look into the recent life. Not the happy, no problems/stress, make everyone-else-around-me-have-a-great time Paul that everyone has came to know.

I currently have no computer. My music? Pictures? Documents? Bill info? Passwords? Programs such as Office or Rosetta Stone? My easy and personal way of getting everything done or finding out how to do what needs done? All gone. Whatever got my laptop got it good. Cody's working on a fix, but it's been over two weeks since we've all been so busy.

My phone's battery has gone bad. It won't hold a charge for twenty minutes without being consistently on a charger. Slight annoyance? Oh yeah, only slightly ;)

Car: Brakes, sway bar links, toe link, and power steering. All adding up to around, eh, $920.

And last but oh so not least, work. It seems I give and give, I help out here, cover there, and do the very best I can do every single day. Yeah I bitch about it maybe 3 out of 7 times when I have to stay an hour to two hours later, but I've gotten used to it. I don't mind. It's extra money and I don't have many plans otherwise, usually. Am I looking for recognition from co-workers? No. The guests that see me busting my ass from the time I get in until they check out usually acknowledge it. I like that. I like it even more when they say they appreciate the work and plan on coming back. When they praise me without knowing the owner is standing over in the lobby. The tips I get daily. I really do not need praise from anyone else other than my ultimate boss: the guest.

But then you get a day like today, where I'm not needing to get out for anything specific. But it's a nice day, I was really looking forward to getting in the workout I missed last night, and I've been so psyched about the Jazz and Blues festival over at Creekside in Gahanna. I don't want to drive my car more than I need to - the pads are gone and the rotors about to split - so I had a ride. But you don't always get what you want, I realize that and I am perfectly fine with it. With that being said, when I have to run all over hell's half acre on cracked out brake pads only to have people beep, swear, and gesture at me, it's going to down my mood a bit. Friend hangs up on me as they try to give me directions, which is fine either way. She thinks I was taking the stress out on her, which I feel a level of comfort there so there is some truth to it, but the majority of the static she felt from my end was just my offbeat annoyance with everything else going on. I just wanted to get stuff done, and my persistance in getting the info I needed in order to do that ended up coming off as me being a dick. Today 3, Paul 0. Then I tell myself, 'it's okay! More money for you! And you can get to Creekside tomorrow night, no worries!' I proceed to pull out of the parking lot from where I tried looking my destination up on my phone (Google Maps wouldn't bring it up...) and some hill jack runs a stop sign while almost hitting me as I slowly come to a stop (again, taking it easy on the brakes). He stops. BOTH him and his oh so pleasant girl get out of their rusted, jacked up piece.

"Learn how to fuckin drive boy!"

"Yeah little man in your little car!"

"What you lookin at, you gots a problem?

"Yeah, you got a problem with my man? Huh?"

W......t.......f. I sat stunned, normally this situation would please me, and I would jump at the chance to go off on someone. But all I could do was laugh. Laugh and daze off. Here I am, everyone mad at me: great friends, my ride, like 10 strangers, my dad, the lady at Guest Supply for having to actually work and load small boxes when I already told her I could handle it. Here I am, my most important necessities all falling apart. And now these clowns. All so unforgiving, when all I seeked to flip the day around was one understanding look before heading home.

And when I don't get it? All of the telling myself 'can't always get what you want,' all the self control, all the patience with everything I've been dealt today goes out the window. And I make a jackass out of myself. Do I feel like I was misunderstood and misjudged? Oh yeah. Do I feel as if I could've handled the day any better? Up until that last minute, no. I was understanding of others, I did my best the entire day to do what I do, and I showed caring for others that could relate to my hectic day. *snaps fingers* Was that close to coming out on top of today's odds. Lesson? Careful who and what you bank the outcome of your day on. Make sure its not an illusion before you trust you can exhale and fall back on it. Just five seconds of being a dumbass blows all of the patience, being the good guy, and my credibility to hell.

Was it worth it, going with the flow all day only to be kicked while down? Yes and no. But I'll willingly do it all over again. Can't let it keep ya down. The car will heal, I'm never far away from an internet connection, they sell phone batteries these days (who knew?), and most of all I have the greatest friends and people around me for when I crash. All I can do is repeatedly be there for them when they themselves are down and out, and if they're worthwhile to my life then they will do the same.