Congress bans shark-finning

I wrote a piece on the blog back in October that went over the devastating effects and outright cruelty of the practice of shark-finning.

I'm happy to say that today the House joined the Senate in passing the Shark Conservation Act. This is a great win for all involved, and pleased that our voices were heard loud enough to be listened to.

-Official Press-Release
-Oceana.org "Victory" Blog entry

501

Do we follow our dreams? Chase them down?

Do we build them?

How do we decide what amendments get approved or rejected along the way?

I've become interested in a number of things over these past few months. Many of which share the same vision-impairing smoke around them. I believe that we, as I sure do, have these massive periods throughout life where we weigh the value of these potential changes to our set ways and the road they travel down, and decide which get abandoned at the next exit and which we tell to buckle up.

Some of the more recent contenders have something that differentiates them from anything I've come across in years: An ability to persuade me that I must act if I want each of them to come along. What the hell is that all about? Don't I always live my days out in any way I actively please? They are the ones who are supposed to make bids to me. Make bids to be a part of the ride, and I pick and choose.

So do I act? Or do I sit idle as I have in my perfect world? I tell myself 'Paul these here could sideline you. First it was that, then that, and that. Now this.'

I know, we're tripping up.

'Nah, we're still good. But I gotta get this shit together man. Maybe it's beautifully good, maybe it's terminally bad.'

This thought process is not helping ourselves.

'Hah, no joke. But ya have each of these hooks dangling completely still right in front of you and--'

--and it's dark in here.

'Def. Ya can't see any of them too clearly, so which ones are you gonna bite?'

Now I'm sorting these things out. Weighing each of them carefully. I've been encountered while way on-guard, and it feels just the opposite.

And, I like it.

Today, let's talk about dumb drivers

Now here is a topic that I have been rather quiet on since moving to Columbus. Actually, I've been completely silent on it.

It seems to me that whenever I am encountering horrible drivers on the road, it's always one after another in the same day. It is never a day where there is one or two instances, it's always like 10 in one drive.

Example: Today as I'm leaving work (at Easton) some fool cuts into my left turn lane while we are both turning. It's easy to do if you are not paying attention, it really is a rather confusing turn. But when the jackass slams on his brakes as if I did something wrong when he almost destroyed the front end of my car, I lay on the horn. Then, as he is in backed-up traffic waiting to jump on 270 and I am in slowed traffic on Easton Way, I hear this very audible "thump" on the right side of my car as I roll past his car.

Something was thrown at my car.

No damage, and I can't see any scratches or marks. Maybe he hit the running board or my wheel? Crazy.

Where'd I go?

No where. I've been preparing for the cold weather here in Columbus. Crew season ended in a huge blaze that saw half of our roster be let go. Horrible murder went down in Mt. Vernon. I went back to Bluff over Thanksgiving. I've looked up flights for random warmer destinations. And have been working and trying to save some cash.

I've contemplated many ways to try to return to the blog, but couldn't really come up with anything superb. Nonetheless, my two month break is over!

I feel home, when I, see the faces that remember my own

My first trip back to Bluffton in about three months. Nothing at all had changed. I had missed seeing all the fam, we really do have a great one.

Top Five moments of being back in Bluff this weekend: 5) Watching OSU lose. 4) Molly (the dog) eating my retainers. 3) Showing fake-wife around town. 2) Seeing everyone. And..... 1) Hearing my mother's screams as she found a live snake in the basement. Look forward to the next crazy trip back!

Shark finning: no big deal, right?

Our marine-life buddies face many strange practices against them, including this. Take a few seconds out of your day to contribute to a difference, and maybe become more educated in the process. Every year, millions of sharks are caught and have their dorsal fins ripped off while still alive before being left for dead or killed. Are you imagining?

Help Oceana put a stop to this by simply typing your name, and clicking send.

From Oceana:

The Shark Conservation Act would end shark finning in the U.S. waters and make us world leaders in shark conservation.

Tell your Senators TODAY that you demand shark protections and the passage of the Shark Conservation Act.

More info on the efforts, here.

During the finning process, a shark is hauled up on deck and its fins are sliced off. The shark -- sometimes still alive -- is thrown back into the water to bleed to death. This brutal practice is also incredibly wasteful; shark finning only utilizes one to five percent of the shark’s body weight, removing an essential food source from many communities.

We are now looking at 50 vulnerable species. The deal is, that current legislation (The Shark Finning Prohibition Act of 2000) still has ridiculous loopholes that allow those determined to undermine the act itself to get on with their disgusting business. Most notable statistic? That in the last 15 years, species in the Atlantic have declined over 50 percent. It is also noted that in the last 35 years that all predatory sharks in the Atlantic have fallen to the point where scientists now label them "functionally eliminated." What are our actions doing to these creatures?

In a 2005 report as a follow-up to the SFPA2000, a piece submitted by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and "prepared" by the National Marine Fisheries Service acknowledges that the act established in 2000 did indeed outlaw all shark finning. This report also details an incredible amount of violations and investigations, it is a real glimpse into a business in which we never see reported on by mainstream media.

There are more than enough links, videos, and stats within the links provided in this post to keep you intrigued for hours on this subject. I wish I had more time to properly lay this all out and include some more shockers, but this is it for now. Hope to converse with some of you on it.

Hemingway's Whiskey, Indoor Game #1, and a night of music at a lake-front bar

The good ones: Live a Little, You and Tequila, Where I Grew Up, Reality, and Coastal are such great tunes. Seven Days is obviously my fav song. "I've lived those seven days a thousand times, those seven days a thousand times." All those weeks in Myrtle, I've lived those days a million times. Everything I am is because of seven days each summer for the last 12 years.

Indoor Soccer, Week #1

We took a 4-3 loss as one of those games where we hadn't shaken all of that three-week break dust off yet. Plus all I have done the last few weeks is drink, eat pizza, drink, work, and drink more, haha. I had six shots on goal but couldn't put anything in the net, which really summed things up for the night. Looking forward to hammering some in next week.

Brother Believe Me at Captain's Point & Pub, 9/25

Drove an hour to see some old friends at Captain's Point (take a look, this place is sweet), a bar right along the shore of Indian Lake in Lakeview, Ohio. Got to see Brian, Kristyn, Dorothy, and many others. And $5 for a full mug of Oktoberfest that you got to keep! AND $1 refills all night. Love my life and all of it's music and friends.

Another wild weekend, got to see old friends, new friends, and fun with my best guys

Three party weekends in a row. I'm getting too old for this.. haha, nahhh.

Friday night saw the reunion of Cody, Kyle, Eugene and Paul go down in glorious style. We grazed Tuna before wandering over to McFadden's, where shots of Patron and endless double fisting of beer led to a wild plan to play pong back at the apartment. Well, due to many factors beyond the control of anyone's reasoning, I was forced by Columbus Police to leave my car in the Bethel walmart parking lot over night. A two mile walk later, we finally made it back. Where Cody and I lit up Eugene and Kyle to win two games to one. We don't do this enough anymore and if we did this everynight, I wouldn't need anything else.

Saturday night, my mom and grandma made their way down and we got some food and did some shopping. Lindsay came next, and we hit up the Hooligans club before going to the Crew game to watch Seattle completely blow us out of the water, 4-0. After the match, it was meeting up with Jeremy and Ashley for a night of campus bars and Arena.

Sunday night, went out with some more friends. The Out r Inn, Ruby's, and a couple walks for some food led to the end of a third consecutive badass weekend. (If I count out the Crew and ND losses.)

Some more surf art

(photo by Leigh Wiener) When looking up decor for the new apartment, I typically go for coastal, surf inspired objects or artwork. While looking tonight after the Crew's 3-0 win over Joe Public FC from Trinidad & Tobago of the Caribbean leagues, I came across yet another site where I could drop some money on almost every piece (the other being mentioned in my post, "The art search continues," back on 8.26.10). So head on over to AllPosters.com and check out more than just the surfing category, check out the travel and fine art sections as well. Some really, really good work featured here.

No-space

Today, after pondering this for.. a few days (haha), decided that on December 4th I will be deleting my account with myspace. Number one, its really an irrelevant social tool these days. I mean, I basically only add pics so that old friends and fam can keep up today with what I'm up to.

Number two, because I know of people who view the page to see what I've been up to, but don't feel the need to actually reach out to me socially. Like, stalking. Or as today's young generation so often refers to it, "being a creeper" on me. Haha. Plus it's just become an outlet to vent pain from a past relationship. All factors that these days I'm finding to be unhealthy. Of course this blog will continue and the facebook will stick around. Maybe keep the myspace after all, just as a way to promote the blog? No info or photos, but link to here? I'll ponder that some more. As of now, on 12/4 it goes.

Myrtle '10, The drive back to Ohio: Detours, staying w/ family, and a new radiator

(Photo: Shell station at Exit 55, I-77 N through Statesville)
So I've been back in Ohio for about a week now. Definitely missing the coastal lifestyle already. Sitting here on our deck right now and the trees, dead leaves, and other units look lovely (we really do have a great view off of the balcony) but already missing the 843.

I've been meaning to write more about the trip but with the new job all last week and this crazy weekend, I have not got to it. The worst scenario possible played out on our way back. Just east of Conway my car started overheating. We pulled off and I noticed major leakage going on. But it didn't seem like coolant to me so I figured the radiator's just sweating in the heat. We let it cool off, and decide to take SR 9 north instead of 501.

The Escape was doing great until Lake View, SC, (population a grand total of 790 in 2000....)where she overheated again and needed assistance from the small-town half drunk-on-a-Monday-afternoon police officer (the town's only cop) and a barely in-business old style service station. Exhale.. love the south. After we checked her out there, we made it exactly 200 miles to Statesville before endless problems ranging from the overheating to serious smoke, and from loud rattling under the hood to oil sensors going off. An NC trooper made sure I could make it to a Shell station just up 77, and we left her there over night.

Now I really had no idea how or what we were going to do. And the kicker was that I had something slightly important to make it back for at 8am here in Columbus. Like, a new job? Yeah, thankfully new job was very understanding and helpful in getting some peace of mind back that night. That's when my cousins D.R. and Kim, who live in Mooresville, came to our rescue. They took us in and she showed us Davidson the next day while treating us to lunch. We don't get to see them enough! $620 later and 30 miles of towing, the Escape got a new radiator and thermostat. Back on the road by 6pm on Tuesday, and we didn't get in until 1am.

Now all's been good. No more overheating, but I should probably be looking into new vehicle options. New job, new apartment, why not a new car, right? And what the hell happened in South Bend yesterday? Michigan beats us right at the end of the game for the second year in a row? Oh well, I'm not worried. Crist was out for most of the first half and we have a coach who's still learning the ND ropes, adjusting to the stadium, and getting to know our opponents.

Myrtle '10, Day 2: From a lifeguard chair on the coast of SC

Currently sittin in my guard chair out front of the Landmark. So strange. Literally decided last minute to take a trip down here. Friday morn blew by, then we were like 'yep..let's go,' so here we are. And here I am once again in the shadow of the building that I did a lot of growing up in over the summers. Lightning strikes out over the sea are looking great tonight. Its strange looking over my shoulder, thinking everything I've become and some of the most important people in my life are all due to that hotel.

I've always said my hearts buried here in the sand somewhere. I know this city, Surfside, Garden City, and Murrell's Inlet better than I know Columbus still. Its where I became who I am today, and I'll always claim it as a home. Coolest lightning strike yet.. Just south of the pier. A cool wind just hit me too, coinciding with the lightning? Hmmm. Getting chilly. The waves are still rough. Capping well out beyond the breaks.

Today, we had plenty of sun and beer. Dinner down in the inlet at Creek Ratz, then some mini golf. My partner in crime is asleep back at the hotel. This is a paradise to a lot of people, but as I've said many times its a home to this guy. I can't spend the last night w/out some quality time here in the chair. Watching and listening to the waves and seeing hotel room lights shut off one after another. This is where I belong. I owe everything I am to this couple mile stretch of sand.

Thunder. Something must be working its way up the coast. I'll ride it out tonight as long as I can. Then back across Ocean Blvd to the hotel. So right now I'll put the phone away and spend the rest of this amazing MB night with the ocean and this storm.

This trip, and these last few hours in the chair, have brought on a lot of thinking. Back to Ohio tomorrow so I can start the new job on Tuesday. Will write more on the trip when I'm back in Columbus. Hope where ever you are, you are as at peace as I am right now.

From a guard chair in Myrtle, goodnight.

Beach tomorrow?

Once I found out I would be having a four day weekend, Fri-Mon, I thought to myself, 'hmm..you've always wanted to see a hurricane. Now's your chance.' So I started devising an idea to make it to the OBX by Saturday afternoon. Then the storm weakened, and I found a potential parter for the trip. Slight details changed, and looks like a return to Myrtle could be possible. I have to keep the streak alive! It will be 13 summers in a row if the weekend pans out as planned.

But nothings for sure yet. I'll have to leave for SC on Friday afternoon around 5-6pm. Which is later today, haha. So we'll see. I love making last minute decisions to drive four states away.

Last third shift tonight, being there for another no matter what, and what to do when you don't know someone anymore

Tonight - the 31st and the 1st, however you look at it - is my last third shift here in German Village, and hopefully anywhere, forever. Although I will miss the drive along 315 and 70E as I pull off into Brewery. But now I'll actually be able to get back into the downtown nightlife instead of just passing it by as I've been doing for the past two months.

Afterwards I had a couple messages on the phone from someone seeking some advice. Upon explaining who this person was to the others and how I.. view.. things now, most we're surprised that two people are able to do that. All I can say is that I will always have unconditional support for this person, and offer all the help I can to see she gets everything out of life she's after. Whether I'm along for the ride or not.

This post just gets more in depth and more crazy with each paragraph! For our third trick, we head down the touchy road of friends-who-have-girlfriends-whom-you-don't-exactly-know-whether-to-support-them-being-with-or-not. Whew. Now I've had a long distance relationship, or two ;) , and not once did we need to be attached to each others freakin hip the entire time we were around each other. And that was eight hours... 560 miles. Some will argue I haven't "paid" for my right to voice opinions on such issues within the apartment. But on the basis that, well, I've been around for 18 years longer, I disagree.

She's the only variable in this. Not the long hours worked. Not the non-stop, always on-the-go style that some have to adapt to living to make ends meet. I can't express how much I admire that, or how much I understand that other areas of life can suffer when one has such a great deal on their plate at one time. So remember, I know what's going on and I know it's not easy. Back to this.. variable. Far be it from me to be the authority on dignity in relationships -I certainly have had a few great* ones- but come on! Really? From one POV, it looks like priority #1 was getting an extra key made for said variable. Is it that necessary that variable be present in our place when he's not here? Or that we are not consulted? I think variable can show up on time to be here when the reason she comes over is present, and leave when she needs to. What happens not five minutes after variable leaves? Ohhh yeah, we need to get back on the phone already. Again, I'm not the foremost authority on dignity of relationships because I have been there (and we all have) but I evolved and I won't ever deal myself to that sort of immaturity again. And it's difficult, knowing one of my best friends had evolved as well but let, what I feel is a terminal cancer of a girl, latch on once again. I'm only this passionate on this subject because I want the best for him, but if he has taken a good look around at what surrounds him and the lifestyle choices that they bring about and still accepts it, then I have no choice but to support it.

*-denotes sarcasm

VFC Monday Night league - The Finale, 3(4)-1 win

We've reached the end of the summer league at Vineyard. For me, it was an interesting jump back into outdoor soccer and one which proved to me that I've learned a great deal over the last six years since high school. We went out in style, winning six of our last seven games.

Every goal tonight was a hard earned one for us. The type of goals you feel good about. What more can you ask for? At times over this summer session I was a little too caught up in the action. I guess I'm just an emotional player? But I chalk it up to the fact that it's been so long since I've played outdoor consistently and I was just way too excited about Monday nights. With that being said, I'm ready for indoor!

Moving Day and new couch

So today is officially the moving day. It's five minutes until 5:00am and here I am just finishing some of the dishes/food packing. Boxes all over the living room, and I can barely keep my eyes open.

It's amazing how some things beyond unbelievable can inspire you to get so much more out of your day. Let's put it this way- I am so glad I'm not in a relationship.

Yesterday I bought a new couch and a new dining table/stool set from Ashley Furniture. It won't be in the new place until Friday though, which sucks. Pretty curious to see how everything will come together in the next few weeks. Standby for updates.

The art search continues

I came across this artist's website while at work this morning. I love the rare occasions when I find an artist who's work on the canvas reflects each of the things which I find beauty in about a particular place. In the ocean's case, he all but nails it. The signage (such as the pic featured here), the unique landscaping techniques, and the surf lovers. Please check out his work and even if you don't have the bank to hang one of these great pieces up, atleast take a peek at the more affordable print versions. Mahalo

VFC Monday night league- Goal! 2-0 win

So in my Monday night soccer league, we were up 1-0 with less than ten minutes left in the match. I subbed out while on defense after getting my foot drilled, then went back on moments later for attacking midfield. Again, around ten minutes left, I make a run to split two defenders when I see Drew get a good look on a 50/50 ball. He redirects the ball right behind the last defender, actually almost laying it out for me while I was in stride. I bring it down and give two close touches as I sprint towards the 18, one on one with the keeper at this point, with a defender right behind me.

Thinking to myself, 'I've seen this before.. you've watched this get screwed up a hundred times by the pros. You know what to do.' Visions of Emilio Renteria in my mind.

I cross the top of the 18 and the keeper thinks I'm going to pop it then, but I flick it to the right (a little too hard) and side step him as he slides. The ball is rolling good towards the touch line now and both the defender and I race to catch it first. 2 ft from going out of bounds and 4-5 ft to the right of the goal mouth, I win the race and quickly make a right foot, cross-body one-touch strike and immediately tumble out of bounds as the ball hits the back of the net. 2-0.

Man I was so pumped. It's like everything I've been working on and learning for the last two years finally paid off. Tonight confirmed that staying in shape and watching endless hours of leagues across the globe has made me the better player that I knew I've become. We've won 5 out of our last 6, we are on a roll!

Philly bonus content! This is some good stuff, must read

While on the Fake Sigi blog, I some how clicked upon the blog of Chris LaMacchia. I'm like, 'hmm, is this the same LaMacchia I met on the Philly trip?' And upon a few rolls of the mouse, I had my answer. Check out his most recent post, recapping the walk that myself, Chris, Grant and Meagan endured while at the mercy of downtown Philadelphia. Thanks to this post, I am now reliving moments that I had no idea transpired, thanks Chris !

Also, thanks to Chris, I have indentified the fountain that myself and Meagan took some dives in. Classic.

Two steps closer, have been awake 45.5 hours

After yesterdays happenings, I believe I am two steps closer to a better, happier me. I'm not sure what kind of news I might have here over the week, but I will follow in the footsteps of LeBron and Kevin Farmer by making a big production out of whatever announcement I have. Look for my version of "The Decision" to be coming soon!

I've been awake for a ridiculous amount of time for the first time in a long time. Yep. I awoke Monday around 10 am. It is Wednesday at 6:30 am. I must say I am going to do a lot, a lot of sleeping here in about an hour.

10 days until we move!

Cleaning Day

Starting to gain some ground from the complete meteor train-wreck that the past month has been. Today did great deal of cleaning and organizing, and found some things that I had been missing. Two weeks until we move. Still looking for that second job, which is impossible to locate when I am working first shifts or third shifts and my schedule changes every two days.

Shoulders workout at the gym earlier today. Will probably get some Rooster's when Cody gets off work, and then back to the gym for a light biceps workout to make up for yesterday.

I must say, I am not doing so well

Time for a heart-to-heart; a little session of honesty, if you will.

The journey of this blog has seen a majority of positive, energetic posting. I like to think that among many friends that I'm known as the stress-free guy who's always having a great time, no matter what. Well I'm breaking down.

Today I couldn't find my keys. I can't ever find anything here. It's a mess. I don't have any room to keep any of my stuff. So my clothes, belongings, and random things I bring in/out of the apartment are piled up in front of a closet next to the front door. I am always in a hurry. I fling stuff here and there without thinking, because I am always being rushed. Whether by work or other schedule committments, and I've had it.

Everything that I had wanted in a job was presented in front of me before I moved down here. As time went on you could say that I heard and saw things from behind the "curtain" there, and now this curtain has been pulled violently back, exposing the driving force of what is becoming one of the darkest periods of my life.

While searching around the apartment for my keys I think to myself, 'you probably locked them in the car before the gym yesterday.' I fling open the door, touch only one of the 9-10 steps as I descend the stairs, and then calmly begin walking toward the parking lot. Not seeing my car, I realize I parked on the street last night and walk down to Neil Ave. No car. Right away I know it. Street sweeping/cleaning goes down on the second Friday of each month.

I finally get a little bit of a routine going down. A set schedule. 7a-3p everyday this week. Until last night, when I am notified I am going back to thirds right away. My sleep schedule is not set for that, and of course today I wake up at 8:30am and can't go back to sleep. I'll be awake all day and go into work at 11pm, only to get off at 7am and head out for Bluffton immediately so I can sleep all the way up to the alumni game at 6pm. And after that's over? I'll drive back to Columbus right away to be right back at work at 11. Isn't life great?

Street sweeping on the second Friday of each month. My car is gone; towed again. There is no signage indicating where it might be, and I go into panic mode. Ok, it's more like completely-out-of-my-mind mode. Now I have no idea where my keys are and I have to call family back in Bluffton because it's possible my keys are inside the Escape. Luckily they are amazing.

Phone call from work. Something about me coming in early. Now the real me wants to get in there asap so I can help, because all of us there are having to do extraordinary jobs just to keep the place afloat. But what does the current me want to say? Hah.. I won't include that on here.

Now I have to find where my car is. I'm currently waiting on fam to arrive with a spare key. Other troubles? I have extra expenses coming here soon that I've never had before. No matter how much of myself I dedicate to this job, in a few months it will be over for all of us, I must find a back up plan. In addition to all of this, friends that I haven't seen or heard from in awhile have recently taken up a decent portion of my daily thoughts.

I'm starting to believe that I never should have taken the job, I never should have moved, and never should have thought that this was a step to making anything out of myself. I'm down and out, on the ground and defeated. We've all been there. But how do I get back up? Am I strong enough to endure what's about to happen? And for the first time in my adult life, I am not sure if I am.

Longer than expected - Philadelphia recap

Well, Philadelphia was one crazy fun time. We won 2-1, and post-game activities were fulfillingly wild. While tailgating I managed to fall into some sort of hole in an abandoned garage and that hurt just a little, haha. In fact my arm is still bruised.

After the game we arrived at the Crowne Plaza hotel in downtown Philly, threw on a new shirt and headed out for Fado with some of the guys. A few hours later had the chance to meet up with lovely Meagan. A fountain dive and glass of wine later definitely made for a memorable night in my book.

I had wanted to do a more in-depth recap of the trip, but too much time has passed and my mind is now once again filled with the stresses of the life.

Soccer league on Monday, our winning streak continued to four. Yep, four in a row. We ironed out a 1-0 victory over the 5th seeded team in the tourney. To put that in perspective, we were the 10th seed.. so yeah, a 1-0 win over those guys feels real good.

Dinner last night at Mac's with some friends, then some pool at Hendoc's.

Cannot begin to describe the level that my stress has been at lately, but with last night being pretty decent, hopefully that stress is starting to top off.

Sinking ship or nose-diving plane.. no matter how you look at it, it's going down

Exhale.

What a(n) _______. Insert words such as circus, joke, mistake, shame, embarrassment, experience, etc. Suggestions welcome.

In the past week or less, the GM who hired me has been fired, two employees up and left, and more could follow. New faces have been brought in to really shake things up. I mean I am someone who welcomes change, but come on. This stuff's getting real. Who signs up for something like this? Example: One day I get to work. Less than five minutes into my shift, a superior arrives and notices a fingerprint smear on the front desk. I fear that something as simple as that, and I am in no way joking about this, could cost me my position. I have worked plenty of restaurants and odd jobs here and there. I've been around good people, and I've been around trash. We have (or, had) a good group of people here! It's so frustrating when our people whom try so hard, have innovative ideas, and take initiative and get things done, are having to walk away because ownership wants to change directions.

I cannot even complete the audit tonight. And I'm supposed to be doing it like 5 times a week now. I understand why the other night auditor left, he had his reasons. But seriously man? If we all quit jobs at the first sign of something negative where would this world be. I know I'd be screwed, but apparently you'll be just fine. Instead of staying and helping your fellow employees through all of this transition, you just bail for "moral" reasons. Well if it was me, and it has been, my morals would say to stay on as one of those good people. They would say, 'hey Paul, not only will you be out of a job if you quit, but you are going to royally screw up the schedules of those who worked with you and cause an insane amount of turmoil in their lives, all because you couldn't handle three days of something different.' Ha. Call it "noble" or whatever if you want. Thanks.

This is all so stressful. I have never been more nervous about something like this. I can't even count how many work days I've worked consecutively now. Have a meeting today at 9 and I'm crossing my fingers. Then leaving for Philadelphia tomorrow morning.

Jack and Rain, Crew destroy Houston

New comment up in the comment section of the "Lucky" post. Actually, it's more like a post in itself, maybe I should give it it's own? Hmm. Anyway, I'm liking the feedback and show of opinion, keep the discussions coming!

Jack Johnson's show was simple yet amazing. Him and his guys are so talented, I highly recommend. Beautiful weather until everyone left for their cars. I was soaked by the time I found the Escape.

On Saturday I went and watched Houston flop around in a 3-0 loss at the hands of your Columbus Crew. Columbus now takes an 8-point 1st-place lead over 2nd-place New York in the Eastern Conference.

O.A.R.

One of the top 3 concerts I've ever seen, actually might be the best! Can't wait for liveoar.com to post the show. They came on at 9pm and went till, 11:20 maybe? Just wouldn't stop letting us sing Road Outside Columbus back to them, I'll never stop seeing this band.

Next up, Jack Johnson in Noblesville, IN tomorrow.

Lucky

As mentioned two (or three?) posts ago, I had a long session on the bike (11 miles?) a few Sunday nights ago. That night at the gym, specifically on the bike, I thought about a lot.

Over the course of each of our lives, we all obviously hit the typical obstacles. Some of us hit some of the more personal ones, the rarer ones. Now it's well-known that people either deal with it or they don't. I've certainly been on the don't side, but how low on that side? In reality, I haven't had it physically as low as others, but mentally I've been right there. Most people hardly ever have it that bad, we here in the states hardly ever know real problems. However, my own dark times lead me to be isolated among those with problems I couldn't imagine. Problems that make issues like depression, anxiety or attention-deficit look like nothing. Medications can be prescribed and appointments made as you go on from one doctor to another. Your behaviors and the reactions to those around you are changed. However those feelings of darkness, loneliness, emptyness, or whatever you want to call it, are not.

So how does one go from not dealing with it, to overcoming it? Medications can make you feel like a different person, or can make you not feel at all. If you're on a specific medication and you're feeling all great and positive directly because of the medicine, are you better off? No.

Is it realistic to feel that you like yourself better while on the medication? Has all that weight been lifted off your shoulders? No, and no. It is not realistic, and the weight has simply been shifted. When your body adapts to the dosage and that med doesn't free you of those demons any longer, what do you do? You up the dosage, or you move to a higher prescription. Is this healthy? No. Does it ultimately solve your issues? No. Anyone who claims a substance is their release is completely out of touch with reality. Completely. Those of us who've been there know it's hard, but it's absolutely true. The balance of happiness and sadness in one's life can be a tricky thing. But prescribed or not, meds and substances do not offer true escape. They only numb us, only increase our ability to be passively content with the failures in our lives.

I'm lucky enough to have been surrounded most of my life by people who helped bring me out of a darker period. People can voice the potential they see in you or they can make excuses for you. Fortunately I learned the difference. Sweeping our problems under the rug for some temporary-fantasy escape of reality is nothing but a detriment to ourselves and a flat-out insult to those who see the best in us. It wasn't anything that I put into my body to make me discover the love for me. If anything it was getting off of meds that made me see the foolishness and selfishness in believing that a drug can change your core for the better. One too many fall for the illusion and let the excuses (lies) become the truth in their eyes.

So, so fortunate. The family, the friends I've had, the loves I've shared, the strangers I've met among travels. I've seen the good, bad, ugly, and outright disgusting. But the positive support, the positive reflection you can be shown of yourself through these familar and unfamilar faces will do more for you than any med or drug will. I love that I love the me that I am of every second during every day without the help of anything. If you live your life dependent on anything other than yourself, and positive friends and family, then you're quite honestly and quite sadly, lost.

VFC Monday Night league: Season update

Okay. So last night we were off'ed 3-1, or 4-1. So until further notice, we are assuming every game will be a loss for the rest of the season, that way there are no more disappointments or surprises!

A weekend of music, fireworks, pain, and gain

Thursday, 7/1- Karaoke at Mickey's in Grandview. Great time with Cody, Eug and Melissa. Featuring all your favorite classics from Van Halen, Beach Boys, Hinder, the Beatles, Sublime, and Josh Turner lol. Plus many more but there was a lot of singing that night, and I'm not quick to remember them.

Friday, 7/2- My first chest/triceps workout in like two weeks. Was definitely feeling it and were thinking hot tub that day, but more important things loomed. We got some chairs, a table, cooler, ice, and some beer all packed into the back of the Escape to take over to Tarah's rooftop party for the fireworks. Pretty sweet view. Rooftop beer pong. Karaoke guy from Thursday lives there, funny. The events following that are wiped clear from my memory, including the alleged three mile walk from Grandview back to the Short North.

Saturday, 7/3- Some of my fam came down to visit. Accompanied them while they did some shopping, drove around and saw some sights, then had dinner at the Gahanna Grill. They left, and I sat on top of my car and watched the OSU fireworks going off across the street.

Sunday, 7/4- Sunday night was a little random. Biked 11 miles with Eugene. I had a lot of thoughts during this time on the bike, those to come later today or maybe tomorrow. For now I'll just say that I'm glad that I am surrounded by and choose to be surrounded by positive people in my life.

A pretty decent Wednesday, not gonna lie

With financial crisis lurking in the near future, I've been considering what would be the best second job. So far I'm thinking:

A) Cab driver
B) Turkey Hill cashier
C) Pizza delivery
D) Server
E) Retail

Now, D and E are really the only serious options.. but what the hell, why not joke about it a little, right?

Soccer tonight
I got a call from my friend to come and play with all of his friends. Meaning I played with about 30 Mexicans, and it was a great time. You know how, if you go downtown and play basketball in a "street" game, how you're probably going to get roughed up a little? That is how this was. No fouls, no corners or throw-ins. Just kick back in and go hard. Netted my first goal of the summer right before we ended too, which happened after I faked out one of the more physical guys and hit a solid shot just inside near post about waist-high. Golden. Was something I had to do if I was going to get any props out there as the only non-Mexican. Looking forward to playing more Wednesdays!

An old friend visited me last night

I was driving down to North Carolina for some reason, when an old friend called me.

Hello?
"Hey! Where you at?! We're at your grandma's!"
Ohhhh. Haha my bad, I'll be there in a second.

I arrive at my grandma's old apartment in Findlay, obviously she's not there because she moved to Bluffton, and oddly all of her belongings are still there. Bookshelves, dishes, furniture, the bedrooms- all the same. She introduces her boyfriend and next we all meet up with my friends to go out downtown here in Columbus. Afterwards the girls all stay in to watch a movie, and us guys take a walk through campus. The next morning I accidently walk in on my friend as she's getting dressed, but I didn't mind as neither she or her boyfriend seemed to notice.

After an afternoon at the pool, they prepared to leave. I thanked each of them for coming, her and I hugged and said we needed to meet up again. I shook his hand and said it was great to meet him, but he leaned in and whispered, "don't pretend to be nice." Staring at me as he turned, he got in the car.

Not having heard him due to the low volume of his voice, she asked with a look of confusion, "what was that all about?" His only answer was the pressing down on the accelerator.

Top down, wind blowing, they drove off. My friend glanced back to me, already worlds apart.

Car Troubles: Episode II

We're back with the second edition of Car Troubles. Last week I had the power streering all fixed up (Episode I). This week I had the brakes taken care of on the front, and new link pins put in. I think the upgrades are just about complete. This could be the final edition of Car Troubles for awhile, keep your fingers crossed.

USA wins! Video of Donovan's 91st minute goal and the sequence that led up to it

I've seriously watched this like 300 times now. Unreal! Next match is against Ghana, Saturday at 2pm on ESPN. USA!!

VFC Monday night league: 0-3 loss

Once again: loss for words. Easily the weakest team we have seen yet. Offense totally sucks. All of our 11 goals have been crappy, scrappy efforts. One of them was beautiful, in our second 4-4 tie, but that's it. I had a goal-mouth save just seconds before being drilled by Blanco Jr in the thigh. It's Thursday now and I'm still limping around. Standby on sitting this week out. Record now drops to 0-3-2.

When it rains, it pours: A chain-reaction kinda day, and my 100th post

I thought my 100th post would be a little more celebratory! But it's here nonetheless, let's get down to business.

Excluding the critically acclaimed Car Troubles series that I am periodically writing at the moment, lets take a clearer look into the recent life. Not the happy, no problems/stress, make everyone-else-around-me-have-a-great time Paul that everyone has came to know.

I currently have no computer. My music? Pictures? Documents? Bill info? Passwords? Programs such as Office or Rosetta Stone? My easy and personal way of getting everything done or finding out how to do what needs done? All gone. Whatever got my laptop got it good. Cody's working on a fix, but it's been over two weeks since we've all been so busy.

My phone's battery has gone bad. It won't hold a charge for twenty minutes without being consistently on a charger. Slight annoyance? Oh yeah, only slightly ;)

Car: Brakes, sway bar links, toe link, and power steering. All adding up to around, eh, $920.

And last but oh so not least, work. It seems I give and give, I help out here, cover there, and do the very best I can do every single day. Yeah I bitch about it maybe 3 out of 7 times when I have to stay an hour to two hours later, but I've gotten used to it. I don't mind. It's extra money and I don't have many plans otherwise, usually. Am I looking for recognition from co-workers? No. The guests that see me busting my ass from the time I get in until they check out usually acknowledge it. I like that. I like it even more when they say they appreciate the work and plan on coming back. When they praise me without knowing the owner is standing over in the lobby. The tips I get daily. I really do not need praise from anyone else other than my ultimate boss: the guest.

But then you get a day like today, where I'm not needing to get out for anything specific. But it's a nice day, I was really looking forward to getting in the workout I missed last night, and I've been so psyched about the Jazz and Blues festival over at Creekside in Gahanna. I don't want to drive my car more than I need to - the pads are gone and the rotors about to split - so I had a ride. But you don't always get what you want, I realize that and I am perfectly fine with it. With that being said, when I have to run all over hell's half acre on cracked out brake pads only to have people beep, swear, and gesture at me, it's going to down my mood a bit. Friend hangs up on me as they try to give me directions, which is fine either way. She thinks I was taking the stress out on her, which I feel a level of comfort there so there is some truth to it, but the majority of the static she felt from my end was just my offbeat annoyance with everything else going on. I just wanted to get stuff done, and my persistance in getting the info I needed in order to do that ended up coming off as me being a dick. Today 3, Paul 0. Then I tell myself, 'it's okay! More money for you! And you can get to Creekside tomorrow night, no worries!' I proceed to pull out of the parking lot from where I tried looking my destination up on my phone (Google Maps wouldn't bring it up...) and some hill jack runs a stop sign while almost hitting me as I slowly come to a stop (again, taking it easy on the brakes). He stops. BOTH him and his oh so pleasant girl get out of their rusted, jacked up piece.

"Learn how to fuckin drive boy!"

"Yeah little man in your little car!"

"What you lookin at, you gots a problem?

"Yeah, you got a problem with my man? Huh?"

W......t.......f. I sat stunned, normally this situation would please me, and I would jump at the chance to go off on someone. But all I could do was laugh. Laugh and daze off. Here I am, everyone mad at me: great friends, my ride, like 10 strangers, my dad, the lady at Guest Supply for having to actually work and load small boxes when I already told her I could handle it. Here I am, my most important necessities all falling apart. And now these clowns. All so unforgiving, when all I seeked to flip the day around was one understanding look before heading home.

And when I don't get it? All of the telling myself 'can't always get what you want,' all the self control, all the patience with everything I've been dealt today goes out the window. And I make a jackass out of myself. Do I feel like I was misunderstood and misjudged? Oh yeah. Do I feel as if I could've handled the day any better? Up until that last minute, no. I was understanding of others, I did my best the entire day to do what I do, and I showed caring for others that could relate to my hectic day. *snaps fingers* Was that close to coming out on top of today's odds. Lesson? Careful who and what you bank the outcome of your day on. Make sure its not an illusion before you trust you can exhale and fall back on it. Just five seconds of being a dumbass blows all of the patience, being the good guy, and my credibility to hell.

Was it worth it, going with the flow all day only to be kicked while down? Yes and no. But I'll willingly do it all over again. Can't let it keep ya down. The car will heal, I'm never far away from an internet connection, they sell phone batteries these days (who knew?), and most of all I have the greatest friends and people around me for when I crash. All I can do is repeatedly be there for them when they themselves are down and out, and if they're worthwhile to my life then they will do the same.

BP orders burning turtles alive, blocks relief-hired fishermen from accessing them

Just unreal. Please visit oceana.org if you have any interest in getting more involved. Whether it's simply by educating yourself so you can educate others, or if you feel like your $5 donation is more reliable than BP's $20B.

$20 billion is not enough

BP "pledges" $20 billion to the Gulf Coast. I don't think $20,000,000,000 is nearly enough. I don't think any amount of money can fix what has been done.

"The $20 billion, in line with a typical one-year profit for BP, "is not a cap" on what BP ultimately may have to spend, Obama said. "The people of the Gulf have my commitment that BP will meet its obligations." -USA Today

In addition to the $20B being shelled out to the fishing and tourism outlets, BP is delivering $100 million to it's riggers that are out of work since the Deepwater Horizon's explosion and subsequent sinking. However, this money goes far beyond the oil riggers on that platform.

"The $100 million is for workers laid off because of the six-month moratorium on
new deep-water drilling that Obama imposed after the April 20 oil rig explosion
that caused the spill." -USA Today

Atleast BP has answered the call to not pay out anymore dividends to it's shareholders for the remainder of this year.

Keep in mind as you view the posted map (click to enlarge), as stated in the legend, "A stranding is defined as a dead or debilitated animal that washes ashore or is found in the water." You see everyone of those blue dots? The green dots? Imagine taking your family on vacation and witnessing deceased dolphins, turtles, among thousands of birds washing up, coming to a rest in a slick of oil.

CNN had an article detailing the loss of life in the Gulf shores and how the remaining wildlife would be heading away from the area to search for more suitable conditions. For some reason that article has been removed, but a side article explaining how a recently discovered species could be wiped out is still available. I can only speak on this topic in short bits before getting emotional. Back with more at a later date.

Car Troubles: Episode I

The cause of my lack of power steering? A leak in the hose. Two days after having it refilled by my guys at Pennzoil, it's back to being difficult to turn. There has also been this very alerting smell coming from under the hood whenever I shut her off. I think I have determined that to be the fluid leaking onto something else, which only makes matters worse. Taking her into the Quicklane over at Germain Ford on Sawmill tomorrow, so hopefully some good (cheap) news.

Look for Part II, featuring other problems with your favorite Escape, coming soon.

VFC Monday night league: 8-2 loss

I'm at a loss for words right now. 8-2. Us 2, them 8. 8 to 2. What the hell. I understand that some guys like to sit up top and have balls just fed to them so they can try all this fancy back and forth shit or think they are in the EPL or whatever, but come on. When I'm moving up top and calling for thru-balls and actually MAKING diagonal runs through their backline, give me the damn ball. The defense works so hard every game only to have goals pounded down us because the mid never comes back to help. I think the defense needs to go up top from now on. Let all those lazy asses who want to sit up there on offense have to actually work and sweat. No reason we don't get 8 goals. Dude had like 5 shots, ALL off frame. My two shots were not only on frame, but the keeper or D had to hussle to stop them. Next week I'm up at forward for all 60 minutes.

Sobering End to the Day
Before that, great day with the mom and grandma. Got some park in and some food before they witnessed the massacre. Guess I'm going to bed in a bad mood then after all. Oh well.

Back in Bluff, World Cup

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are my first days back in Bluffton since moving to Columbus. Slightly over a month, but doesn't feel that long. Reason? My mom's 30th dance recital for her studio, Dancers Elite. Rehearsal was, you could say, ugly. Saturday night was great. The final number with all of the alumni was near perfect. Being back in Bluffton you'd think I'd stop out and see friends, but just no time. Maybe next trip here.

World Cup - The good news: we tie England 1-1 after a hard Clint Dempsey shot right at the English keeper somehow slipped through. The bad news: Slovenia beat Algeria 1-0 (the other two countries in our group) this morning. So the standings look as such: Slovenia 3 points, USA and England 1 point. Algeria 0. Surprising news: Ghana beats Serbia 1-0 off a PK. Germany and Australia play at 2:30 ET. USA plays Slovenia on Friday.

Finding more of your own kind. Two in one night!

I'm telling you, we're a club.

So were at Park Street Cantina during the festival last night, and as I'm getting a couple beers this guy turns and asks me, "where've you been?" I was slightly confused. I didn't have a stamp or wristband on; what's this dude talking about? I look down at his own wrist as I am looking for some sort of explanation, and found it. Hook bracelet around the wrist. He was asking about mine and which island it was from. His was from St. John too, and turns out he has a place there and was/is trying to purchase a charter boat company. Unreal! I can't express enough how much I love running into people who's heart is in the same place as mine. "People just don't understand," he said as we joked about the story behind the bracelet, and more importantly about life in the islands itself. I need to get back soon.

And about an hour later while at The Social Room, another guy sitting next to me on the roof patio pointed out that he also had one. How many people have I met since getting mine, you ask? Total now stands at five.

Park Street Festival 2010

In the Park Street District..? Wasn't aware it was its own district. Hmm.

Anyway- This Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (10,11,12) Park Street is closed down for the 2010 festival. Food vendors and free covers to all the lounges, clubs, and bars. Oh and live music. Was $5 to get in for all three nights. Nothing to do tonight? I'd head down there. Driving back to Bluffton after I get off of work here at 3, but I might be coming back pending party details at the apartment. And if I come back down I'll most likely head to Park Street at some point. Join! Saving Jane headlines the music on Friday, and Smashmouth ends it all on Saturday night.

VFC Monday night league: We draw 4-4 for second match in a row

Again we give up two second half goals to go down 3-4, but an amazing world-class header in the final two minutes gave us the 4-4 draw. I went up to F in the second half. Not sure if it was because they were sick of me yelling for them to move around more, if they wanted to see what I had, or if our one striker needed a break. I'm going to say they were sick of me yelling, haha. But I think I was dangerous once I was up there. Calling for through-balls, making runs, and even a meg or two. Topped off by a sweet sequence where I ended up faking a shot to throw a defender, cut left and back right before ripping a shot just left of the post that hit side-netting. Hope to see more time up top. After this draw, our record improves to 0-1-3.

I need a shower

A long week.

That's what it has felt like. But has it really been? Had some real productive days at work, some great nights out, so I don't really feel as dragged down. With that being said, I still feel out of it to an extent. This weather the last few weeks really got to me, and a work schedule that includes all shifts kind of prevents me from really getting settled, but I like that. So what do I want? I want 4-5 days where at some point I can sit in the sun, listen to tunes that take me away, and truly unwind.

What did offer some calming was having dinner with my dad, bro, sis and aunt Wednesday afternoon. It was great to see them.

Oh yeah and last night after checking out a new place - Mac's Cafe - , stopping by Cantina before having a late nature walk, and hitting the pool/gym hard today, I definitely need a shower.

Jack Johnson's "To The Sea"

Jack's latest work, To the Sea, is something I've been needing to hear. It couldn't have come sooner. Well, I suppose it could have, but you get it. Sleep Through the Static had a few quality tracks on it, but was a let down in the opinions of many fans. I think this new album is right back there with On and On and In Between Dreams. Too bad the CD player in my car is all junked up, not sure how I'm supposed to enjoy new music anymore.

Could we maybe have two days of sunshine in a row? Looks like that's a no.

Tonight: Battle of the Unbeaten! LA vs Columbus (UPDATED)

LA Galaxy (8-0-2, 1st place West) @ Columbus Crew (6-0-2, 1st place East) -- 7:30pm
Tonight marks MLS history as the latest in a season that two undefeated teams have ever met. I'm seriously so pumped for this. Like many of the supporters from both clubs, this is all I have thought about for the last two weeks. A match with little immediate fallout to risk, but a game with so much on the line. Planning on making the walk from Rubys and then doing some tailgating with Captain Ron and his youth team! If I had got to sleep a little earlier than 3;45am last night, I would be even more excited (see previous post).

Articles on tonight's MASSIVE match:
Preview: Crew vs. Galaxy
Columbus believe they can beat LA without crisp passing
Galaxy: we have nothing to fear

UPDATE: We dominated possession and played some of the prettiest play we have all year, yet Columbus fell 2-0 to LA. After tying San Jose last night (6/2), Columbus now sits at 6-1-3. Next, @ Colorado (6/5)

"Huh, do you see our cars?" $140 later...

Definitely had my car towed for the first time last night. Was a little confused as to what provoked it, I mean besides being parked in the Kroger parking lot after hours. But.. it was empty, and I'm pretty sure they were closed anyway? So yeah they got us good, they got us good.

VFC Monday night league: We draw 4-4

In this Monday's game in the Vineyard FC (Football Club) we conceded a goal in the very last minute that brought the score to 4-4, a disappointing finish to a game that started out with our opponent having a four player advantage. Yes, it was 6v10 to start. We need more players; with the 80 degree weather I was dying out there. We scored a goal with what we thought were 30 seconds left to play, it was 4-3 in our favor. Not even one minute later, they scored to make it 4 all. The whistle blew shortly after. Our record now stands 0-1-2. We're off next week, then back on June 7th.

LOST Finale: my reaction and thoughts

I only just discovered the series three months ago, and spent hours upon hours online watching seasons 1-6 so I could catch up to new episodes on TV. Now it's over.

I think that the last of 'Lost' gave us fans plenty to be content with. While the last five minutes certainly seemed to be a turn to religion, I cannot express enough how it was not. The entire story of the series was too complex, spent too much time on other dynamics- philosophy, physics, story telling, the good vs evil. There is no way the producers and writers would let it dumb down to religion. Instead it was a test of us to believe that it's something in each of us that is bigger than how we perceive ourselves. I believe there were many messages throughout the two and a half hours. One being we are connected more than anything by love and the creation of life; that no matter who we are, we are capable of something so much larger than we give ourselves credit for. That life and love are beautiful and can take us anywhere. That we overcome anything when we realize we don't have to answer all of life's questions, but just need those important ones in our life to be close to us as we move along through the stages. As one of the actors put, if you were looking for decisive answers to all the questions then you were probably disappointed; if you were looking for emotional closure to the characters stories then you were probably satisfied. I was satisfied.

However, there was one theory I had that was no doubt shot down. I figured for them to have their "awakening" in the flash-sideways, that everyone needed to die in the real life. Obviously Hugo, Ben, Kate, Frank, Sawyer, Miles, Desmond, and Claire did not die as they either stayed behind on the island (Hugo, Ben) or left via the Ajira plane. Wtf? So there would be two of the latter characters living in real life? Also- Hurley's conversation with Ben outside the church suggests that as they were all meeting there, it was a farther into the future than Jack's last moments on the island. So does that mean what we thought were the flash-sideways really ended up being the flash-forwards? It would coincide with my theory that everyone would have had to die to make it there to the church that day, but at this point who knows. Those are the only things I have left unanswered, but I love that there are remaining questions. The show will never die this way. Goodbye to the greatest show I've ever viewed.

Never enough

Sometimes I feel like it's never enough, and by "it's" I mean me. I'm not sure what vibe I give off that has become this subconscious killswitch in my social life. All I know is that regardless of all my ramblings about life, living this way or doing things that way, at the end of the day I'm someone who wants to be capable of so many great things. A closet romantic I am, and I'm beginning to think that I've talked myself into not ever being able to realize these great things.

One after another. Sigh.

Wait, is that.. yes it is.. sunshine!

Looks like the two weeks of cloudy days, off and on rain, and random downpours could be over... for the moment. I've heard the forecast went from a week of sun to only three to four days. The sun, however, could not have shown up at a better time, as it's been two weeks since you could do anything outside in the sun and that surely gets me irritated. Here's to some rays.

Busy weekend at work. Just a busy weekend in general. A busy one where I've faced an unpleasant variety of socially awkward situations anywhere I've been. But you'll have that, right?

In other interests:

-LOST finale tonight. I only fell in love with this show maybe, three months ago? I'm sure it will be an interesting 2.5 hours.

-On Thursday, Columbus beat Red Bull New York to take over first place in the East, continue their undefeated season of 5-0-2, and continue to get off to best start in club history. Columbus travels to Kansas City tonight for their second match in four days.

Inside my head: Thinking and questioning the way, here are some of the answers

Between my travels and within my writings, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that the timing of events, of situations, in one's life only have purpose within just that - one's individual life. It doesn't involve a higher power, it doesn't involve any other human or future. It is all you. This timing prepares each and every one of us for those "how do I?" moments. The only way we overcome, the only way we survive or succeed is based on one simple thing. When we arrive at those moments, what have we done throughout the years of our pasts to answer this question in the present? What scenarios did we learn adversity from? We can pretend to ask others for their opinion, advice, or their solution. None of that matters. Friends, family, gods, strangers, co-workers, etc. You can perceive their input as important as you want; fact of the matter is that if you follow any of the aforementioned, you are in no way true to yourself. You leave your path. You redirect your journey.

Your educated gut feeling (it is educated whether you feel it is or not. Your life has specifically prepared you for these moments. Moments that may be falsely common to some, but are truly unique to you), the one that certain third party opinions will stand behind and others will try to thwart, is the one and only way. Some will have experienced similar chain of events and each will give what they believe is the adequate equation to solve the problems that find you through life. Again- your past experiences, your common knowledge, that "gut" feeling to make a decision that disregards the social norms. The options you weigh on your mind are yours and yours alone, no matter how common they might seem among those around you. Each thought, each passing minute, each sunset has a message. If we don't take the time to add these messages up as they come, then we scramble for answers when a critical moment arrives. We seek the help that others ultimately cannot give, no matter how close the friend, how loved the family member, or how high the god. Have you paid attention to the timing of events in your seemingly normal, routine, every-day life? You will not make it through as your true self if you don't.

An evening chat with Kevin Farmer

11:56pm Me
earing in the tongue and she know whata do wit it

11:57pmKevin
haha....what's that from?

11:58pmMe
lol freek a leek

11:58pmKevin
I've never heard it...:-p

11:59pmMe
hmmmmmmm is this kevo-bot? the real kevo is locked up in the kevo-bunker isnt he

11:59pmKevin
beep boop....error. can not compute. Today.
please input your 24 digit pin code to continue

12:03amMe
4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42 4 8 15 16 23 42

12:03amKevin
processing...
please hold
processing...
processing...
loading...
loading...
loading...
access Granted!
welcome PAUL G

12:04amMe
kevo-bot, what have you done with kevo!?

12:05amKevin
Kevo is out...press pound to leave a message

12:05amMe
#

12:06amKevin
hello you've reached the voice mail of Kevin and I'm not available, please leave a message after the tone
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

12:10amMe
kevin dude, i sent you an obvi freek-a-leek line and you asked me what's that from. I knew right away it was an imposter. the chat went offline, and he now has automated msgs answering me. he won't let me contact you directly, he's forwarding all questions to KevoMail. i can be reached at 614.228.6511 until 7am. i hope you escape soon, it won't be long till he finds the cessna, 2 tons of coke and the guns.

12:11amKevin
error...you're message has not been recorded...to re-record your message, press 1, if you are satisfied with your message, you may hang up now

12:12am Me
son of a bitch. err. 1

Incredible finish to Crew vs Revs, Tonight: my first outdoor game since highschool (UPDATED)

Saturday marked my first Crew game of the 2010 season. 3-2 win, on a Robbie Rogers goal in the 90th minute. Wild night.

I joined a local 16-team Vineyard FC league in Westerville. Couldn't find my beloved Predators, so my brother has the Mercurial Vapor's and loved them and he recommended the cheaper Talaria's. Absolutely love them. UPDATE: Four goals scored in the first half kinda sealed our fate. Late in the first half I switched from left back to stopper. The second half we had zero goals scored on us, so as my new teammate Kyle said, we can take something from that. FT: 0-4, loss

"From the neck-down, a man is worth $.10 an hour, from the neck up.. he's worth $.90"

I just had one of the most genius conversations with a guest that I've ever had. The quote in the title of this post was something he repeated to me 2 or 3 times.

"When I brought my highschool diploma home and showed my dad, he looked at me and said, 'That's great, you're 18. Get out.' The next week I was on an oil tanker in Saudi Arabia. I'd do one tour and come home; have 20,000 in the bank. Do another tour, come home; have 30,000 in the bank. 40,000. 50,000. At 27 I bought my first house. You gotta work man. You work hard and you keep your head on straight and you'll have people fist-fighting to have you work for them. Fist-fighting."

He went on to explain how his oldest son, turning 27 on Wednesday, had to be kicked out of the house three times now and had no motivation to work. This made me think about some of my acquaintances and how they too seem to have never given a shit about where they end up in life. They work job to job and quit job to job, and somehow seem to be doing better than me. How is that?

"Now listen to me. I swear, don't ever have kids. They only drag you down from day one. They cost more than your life does and in today's world it's worse than a 50/50 chance that they will amount to anything."

I replied while laughing, "Hah, that's all my grandparents ever tell me. So ya don't have to preach it too hard to me, I'm already convinced."

The man continued with memories of him being a tugboat captain throughout the gulf shores. "God I loved it. You would never think it, but best job in the world, man. Best job in the world."

"Do you miss the water?" I asked with a smile. I didn't have it in me to ask him about the current situation down there. Besides, I really needed to get back to work.

"Man, you have no idea. Tugboat captain. Best job in the world."

Funny how this all ties into the post that I wrote out only, what, an hour before? And that I have this in-depth of a conversation with someone who ends up reassuring me that the way I live and think really is the way I need to live. It wouldn't have surprised me at all if he had a hook bracelet on. Walking to the elevator to meet his temporary home for the night, he looked back and left me with this:

"We either sink or we swim, man. Don't be afraid to sink. We learn to think quicker, work harder. We get back on top. It's sink or swim."

Feeling alive, feeling good

Never sure when the truth won't do, I'm pretty good on a lonely night

I move on the way a storm blows through.. never stay but then again I might

Struggle sometimes to find the words, always sure until I doubt

walk a line until it blurs, build walls too high to climb out

But I'm honest to a fault, it's just who I am..

Wow, what a crazy two weeks.

I'm finally starting to feel alive again, but ironically it's because of how tired I've ended up being after these last few weeks. It's strange when you can say you miss getting through the day on little sleep, is it not? But that's how I've always operated at my best. Having a lot on my mind, feeling the pressure of so many things to do in a short period of time, and doing whatever I want to with no regard for time, the need to rest for the next task, or the need to rest to survive.

I used to be such an emotional person. I would put so much stock into everything I did. It's a strange concept to some when they see how I am quite the opposite these days. There's hardly any emotion to anything I do. Most ask the typical questions, and I simply shrug my shoulders and give a nonchalant answer. I live pretty laid back. I get done what needs done, I do what I do in the night life, and I live to out-do myself from the night before. It is this self-reflection that I hope to be able to write more about in the coming months.

An old tv personality used to shout into a microphone, "the only thing that's for sure, is that nothing's for sure." I do know one thing though- that right now, I love my life. As for the many interchangeable variables that I encounter here and there, that's just what they are. A part of my life that is destined to come and go. It's how I stay on top of things, how I keep sharp and continue to keep things feeling fresh. Honestly at this point in my life, I don't see how I could ever change or give that up.

Two years of opinions, feelings, and thoughts burst out into the open today

The big one.

Here we have two people. Over the last two years, little by little, there have been many thoughts but few words between them. From time to time they have a good conversation, in one way or another it seems like catching up as old friends. Both have things they haven't mentioned, things that eventually need to be said. Roughly two years to-the-day later, one half of this equation was thinking about it too much and mentioned to the other how long it had been. The other half, suddenly aware of this, also expressed their concerns. Despite all this time passed, they discovered a little common ground almost right away. The half that had originally brought it up never meant for it to be the long, revealing conversation that it became. Never meant for both to be asking questions as if that day two years ago had just happened.

"..lovers they have come before, and they will come again. No one's ever loved before, the way that I loved then.." -Marc Roberge, Irish Rose

I honestly cannot believe this went down the way it did. I never intended for it to get as in depth as it did. When she asks "why didn't you tell me this before? I've spent so much time trying to move on and getting close to him." In my eyes, that translates to: 'would absolutely love to see you again, I almost need to, but I'm comfortably happy enough to say that, eh, I'm just gonna stick with this.' So, why didn't you ever speak up? When today, two years later, you tell me "we were one of a kind that's for sure," and "no one could ever be like us," among other very obvious statements. You say it's because you had to move on. Ha. I think it is clear that you believe you belong elsewhere than what you're with now.

Can I say what the future, near or far, has planned for anyone? No. And neither can she or anyone else. But when someone who's been in a relationship with the same boy since leaving me has repeatedly told me that I'm the one that most relates to them, most understands them, I confidently say that it shouldn't surprise either person when they run into each other again someday. There is something unbelievably poetic about what happened today. Unbelievably poetic and uniquely tragic just the same.The fact that she still had to ask me questions about my friends (that were girls! Gasp!) from back then, and still hasn't accepted that they were never anything more than decent friends, did surprise me. If the realization that you broke off the best thing for you over some insecurities bothers you, well it should. A little. That's how life works. You adjust accordingly. Hopefully she has it straight now.

This conversation was guaranteed to happen at some point. Both halves of the equation needed it. Although it appears nothing was really resolved, just informing one another. Two theories from this: 1) Nothing was resolved because neither half wants to close the other off, or 2) Nothing was resolved because it hurts one of them too much to do it because calling it off was a mistake in the first place.

Jumping off a bridge at night, using a tire as a flotation device

It was a couple friends and I, and we were on some bridge after nightfall. Laughing hysterically and trying to avoid something that must have been to our back, we took the leap off of this old, wooden, rusty bridge. Must have been twenty-five, maybe thirty feet tall. One of my friends was using what appeared to be a life preserver of the ring variety, complete with rope and the red "+" on the side. I apparently found a tire for use of the same purpose, and the third in our group simply swam to shore. WTF #1- Once on land, the once very official-looking life ring in which one friend had used for safety, had now taken the image of a small inflatable beach ball. The rest is considerably blurry. I recall being at a house, with both friends and one's girlfriend. Drinking, laughing, and surrounded by both familiar and unfamiliar faces, it was a great time. Someone needed a ride and asked a friend of mine to oblige, which they did and I went along. WTF #2- What must have been a local, unmarked cop pulls them over. However, I'm in the passenger seat of the cruiser, and vaguely recall stating, "yeah.. that's them. We got 'em."

Seven hours after waking up, this is all I can gather. Any thoughts, opinions, or theories on this?

So, I took a position with..., weekend thoughts

Received a phone call yesterday that informed me I'll be brought on by a Comfort Inn & Suites down in the Brewery District/German Village! On Wednesday I go in for the first time, just to kind of see how things are run there. While it is a smaller property, I am extremely excited to see what opportunities this will bring. So far, I know I will be working full-time, learning more operations-wise, and cross-training over in the bar as to help the bartender out on full nights! The location is great. Claddagh's is just 2 streets over, so I feel like I'll be watching a lot of soccer at the pub after work ;) I think I'll start moving my stuff down Saturday. The guys might rearrange the apartment a little bit to accommodate my addition a little better, which is awesome if they do, but I don't want to inconvenience anyone. The lease is up in August, which we will then seek out a 3 bedroom.

Very excited to take this next step in bettering myself and the future. Not only the position, but being a member at the gym, trying new foods, getting into cooking.. all stuff that I can invest more time into here soon.

Weekend thoughts

-Although I have moved away from country music for the most part, I watched the ACM awards tonight. Conclusions: Brad Paisley is such a cool guy, he deserves top honors in the genre. I don't miss Carrie Underwood, she does not deserve any more top honors. ZBB is way underrated.

-I will spend entirely way too much money on Cane's chicken.

-I need to get me a professionalish-type camera.

-Where will I put my bike? Capt. Geno chained his up outside and it was stolen last year.. will I keep it inside, or hide it under some bushes by the river? Stay tuned..

Craigslist = hope, Date Night

Tonight marked the end of my short leave of absence (LOA) from Arby's. While working I realized just how much I can't do this anymore, and decided to let both employers know that I plan to no longer work for them by May 9th. Why May 9th? Well it happens to be one of the busiest weekends for my other job and I feel as if I'll be wanted for that. But to add to the last-month scramble, I searched Craigslist tonight for some more jobs and found 3 that I, once again, am absolutely qualified for. Problem is: two of them I must apply (pick up an app) in person. So.. looks like I might be leaving sooner than I think, but I don't want to let anyone down.

Saw the movie Date Night last night w/ Tara, Cody and Britt. Ahh I love Steve Carell. I thought the movie was pretty funny, maybe it was because I hadn't read reviews like this, or maybe it was because I'm easily amused? Either way I was entertained and would recommend it.

Tuesday night thought.. should it not bother me?

I'm not sure if everyone has one or two people that they've only been around once or twice in their life? People who you met by pure chance, far away from home, and mean a great deal to ya. And it'd really hurt to even lose them as an acquaintance, let alone when you both consider each other close friend. I think I might have lost or be losing one of those few people, and it does bother me. Funny, said person msgs me as I'm typing this. About something being off between us. Who knew I was someone who picked up on things so well?

O.A.R. and Jack Johnson, back-to-back.. 7/21 and 7/23! (UPDATED)

Ahh my fav band. Seeing them live on July 21st! After not paying attention for two weeks, at the most, I find out today that tickets go onsale Saturday. But being me ;) ;) , I went ahead and bought mine through the presale this afternoon! Can't express enough how excited/pumped/stoked I am for this.

But ohhh no, the fun doesn't stop there! Jack Johnson will be in Cuyahoga Falls (near Akron/Canton) not the very next night as originally reported, but the same night. Yeah bummer... so instead I bought tickets to the show in Noblesville, Indiana. It was either that, Charlotte, or Salt Lake City as the Crew play there the same weekend. o.a.r. show is general admission, so get a ticket if you want to join us! Jack will have G.Love as a supporting act, not sure about o.a.r. yet. I seriously can't wait.

O.A.R.- ofarevolution.com

Jack- jackjohnsonmusic.com

Weekend Thoughts

-I am once again job searching outside of Ohio. Cruise lines and their corporate offices (typically in Florida) offer a variety of positions... but none I'm exactly qualified for.

-I can't fold sheets very fast, which is a critical setback of the daily functions of my current job.

-Ever have those days where multiple friends have invited you to join their plans, yet you just want to stay in and sleep the night away? No? Well for me, today is exactly that.

-On Friday in scrimmages w/ collegiate sides, the Crew beat Marshall 5-0 and two hours later beat Michigan State 5-0 as well. In related news, the new MLS webpage sucks. I love how every website, blog, or ranking system has Columbus on top. We are the team to beat once again. We are what every other club is trying to emulate. Now if we can start selling out CCS...

-Cool, inspirational, and sometimes humorous vlogging going on over at Kevo's Vlog. I encourage you to check it out and follow it.

Discouragement

Another round of awesome interviews, and what I thought were good follow-ups, once again lead to nothing. Is this the point at which I start to give up on ever finding a decent company to work for in Columbus? I'm growing more and more tired of not moving because I cannot find a job I want. Is this the point that I just up and move down w/out already having a job lined up? It could be.. the end of April is looking good for that.

It just get's me so down, and I'm someone who you can rarely say you've seen me in a "down" mood or feeling sad about something. I have a great work record. I have a degree in the industry in which I'm seeking employment and 6 months experience in the industry. And all I want is a simple FRONT DESK position?! And I can't get that??? It completely amazes me. Looks like it's either fast food or back to college to waste more money. What a life.

It's the end of all our them-there freedoms! Healthcare talk (UPDATED)

So I love listening/reading/seeing all the conservatives get bent out of shape over the healthcare signing today. I can't tell you how many opinions and hateful comments I've heard. At some point it becomes about evolving as a people, as a country. When you look in the mirror (the nation's medical facilities), see yourself (the US) and can acknowledge bad, irresponsible habits you've had (health system) which ultimately negatively affect others around you (32 million uninsured Americans) as you've gotten older (the system), then you can't deny that it's time for a change. Unless, of course, you are a stubborn old richie who doesn't need to care. Or a narrow-minded, mislead young adult who grows up and automatically adopts the political positions of his/her family so it is all they know. Or backwoods redneck hicks who base their political views on their right to own sniper rifles and play with M-16's. But I'm sick of the negativity. Yeah sure the doctors, med students, and insurers are going to be upset, you're losing money and ultimately spending more of your own money to get to where you are.. tough shit. What, it's supposed to be an easy ride if you're of a certain breed? Go to hell :) This legislation will do so much good as opposed to the setbacks, of which will be ironed out over the next 6-10 years. Now we have 14 states trying to sue to block the health bill from becoming a law.

"The Constitution nowhere authorizes the United States to mandate, either directly or under threat of penalty, that all citizens and legal residents have qualifying health care coverage," the lawsuit states.

Well holy junk. I guess forcing car-insurance down the throats of American's was unconstitutional, when have you seen conservatives going after that? You haven't, because it's the way life has been and is the way as we know it. We don't know it any other way. So say you're uninsured, you are playing a sport or even driving your insured vehicle.. and you are involved in an incident which you are terribly injured. Uh oh, now you're going to have possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills. But hey, your CAR will be covered! So you're going to complain, and sue to prevent, about being required to pay for a service which could potentially save you millions in the event of a tragedy. Real smart conservative America. Brilliant in fact. You're so smart. Instead of letting big, bad government control everything, why don't we just hand the reigns over to you. I've been quiet on this long enough, but cannot stand the delusional, fear-induced and money-powered conservative BS that continues to hold this country back. We as a country can't just sit and be content with the shit that is our health system, we need to better ourselves, that's what growing up is all about. This morning we became a better nation.

3/24/10, 7:00pm- Wow, looks like all that banter from conservative America that "no one even wants this bill" and "this administration is not listening to a single American citizen" has now finally been confirmed to be extremely off-base.

In the new USA TODAY survey and one taken a month ago, the biggest shift toward support of the bill was among low-income Americans, minorities and those under 40. That has created a yawning age divide: A solid majority of seniors oppose the bill; a solid majority of those younger than 40 favor it.

The bold emphasis is my own. I love it. I will thoroughly enjoy reading the cries and complaints via facebook over the next few weeks and months. Your intelligent comments or ridiculous off-base accusations are equally welcome here.